**The following post is a personal experience written by a WisdomWomen member. The individual views expressed in our member posts may or may not represent the views of other community members.**
It was January 2016, and I was at the inaugural WisdomWomen Visionary Gathering. On the last morning, participants were invited to take the microphone at the front of the room and share their visions and wild dreams.
As I sat listening and cheering for these women, a question fell on my heart; what could keep these amazing women from doing their work in the world? What unknown or known, unresolved hurt, pain or well-buried experience could get in their way?
And then God turned this same question on to me. “What would keep me from doing my best work in the world?” The answer was clear. It was my relationship with my mother.
Within moments, I heard something else, what I now believe was a calling. God said: “You will heal the wounds between mothers and daughters.”
With that, he only put four words on my heart – KNOW, HEAL, SEE, LOVE. I got on my hands and knees, tears streaming down my cheeks, “anything but that God”.
Because I knew that I would have to start with myself. It seemed impossible. I was in so much pain; I did not think I had it in me to do the work.
After a few weeks of digesting, I started to share what had happened that morning. In that process, I started doing the work. I engaged my coach, and we played through specific situations in my relationship with my mom. I recalled in detail what had happened, how I reacted. What did I want my mom to do that she didn’t or couldn’t, and what did I want to feel I was capable of doing?
At the end of one particular session, my coach asked me: “What did you need from your mom that you did not get?”. My heart stopped, and my eyes welled with tears. I stood up from my chair and got into child’s pose on the floor. And there it was, my mother wound.
- To be known.
- Attention and time
- Validation for the hurt, regrets, mistakes – intended or not
- To be loved unconditionally
The picture was getting clearer. I reached out again to my women’s network. I shared my call. In response I received massive encouragement to stay the course, and the validation I needed, that this work must be done.
Looking back on that moment, I can’t believe how different things are. I can honestly say that I have changed the landscape of my relationship with my mom. I have forgiven her, and in that, have also forgiven myself. I have found the capacity to hold her with more grace and compassion. As a result, she found the capacity within herself to say three words I have waited my whole life to hear. “I am sorry.” And I believed her. Today we are on a new path.
Over the coming months, in addition to my own healing, the broader work ahead started to take shape, resulting in a weekend retreat for mothers & daughters that I am launching December 9-11 of this year. The name?
Modern Goddess Retreat: An Intimate Experience for Mothers & Daughters
In community with other mothers and daughters who also desire to have a deeper and more authentic relationship with one another, women will learn to cultivate more honest and authentic ways of communicating, expressing themselves, and ultimately, deepen their trust for a healthier, more loving bond. This experience will take place in a beautiful and sacred location in the Santa Cruz Mountains, supported by healthy food, daily yoga, nature, art, and play, For more information, click here.
If it was not for WisdomWomen and the mission and clarity I have found being a part of this community, I honestly do not believe I would have received the calling at this time to do this work. But God knew before I did that I was ready. With the loving support of so many women in my life, including the community I have found with WisdomWomen, this work will has become real. I will, with the grace of God, have the courage to share my own story, and other life experiences that have prepared me, be a part of healing the wounds between mothers and daughters.
Renee Dineen is a mother, wife, executive and life coach, business consultant, and group facilitator. She is also a speaker, world traveler, and family travel blogger, and a WisdomWomen Founding Member. Learn more about her at www.reneedineen.com